Klassikameenutus

"Good evening... Infidel!"
"God Dammit... Oh, Oh, I, I mean uh, Allah Dammit!"
"Oh-uh...let's see...an A... C... flimch... SILENCE! I kill you!"
"STOP TOUCHING ME! I Kill YOU!"
"I need some ligaments."
"Sudan's Mustard gas is nothing compared to a Walter fart!"
"If this is paradise... I've been SCREWED!"
"What, you don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bast**d!!!"
"I'm kidding, I would not kill the Jews... No! I would toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death!"
"I did the same thing with 2 Catholic Priests, then I tossed in a small boy! Yes-yes, and the winner had to fight Michael Jackson."

Achmed: OK, Knock-knock...
Jeff: Whose there?
Achmed: Me! I kill you!

Achmed: Were looking for some idiots with no future.
Jeff: So where do you get your recruits?
Achmed: The Suicide Hotline. Hahahaha... That was dark was it not?

Jeff: So look, as a suicide bomber have you had training?
Achmed: Of course, we had the suicide bomber training camp.
Jeff: Ah, is that a nice facility?
Achmed: It used to be...
Jeff: What happened?
Achmed: New guy... The idiot tried to practice!
Jeff: And what did you guys learn from that?
Achmed: Location, location, location.

Achmed: I had a preimature detonation. I set the timer for 30 minutes but it went off in 4 seconds!
Achmed: You know what that's like, right? Mr.Hurrrriiccaanne...

Jeff: So-uh, what's it like to die? Do you see a white light?
Achmed: If you're dumb enough to watch the explosion...yes!
Jeff: No, I mean when some people die they see a white light. What did you see?
Achmed: I saw flying car parts...

Jeff: So I guess you're Muslim?
Achmed: I don't think so...
Jeff: You're not Muslim?
Achmed: No.
Jeff: Why?
Achmed: Look on my ass, it says "Made in China".

Achmed: For example, the Washington Monument.
Achmed: It looks nothing like the guy, it looks more like a tribute to Bill Clinton.

Achmed the Dead Terrorist